"Coming & Going"

"Why is it so difficult to let go of people who used to be close to you in the past, but aren't any more now?" These people might turn up in your dreams months after your ways have already separated. You don't even want to think of them anymore, because you know that you have to move on. Still, thoughts of people who you once knew will pop up from time to time. So that begs an immediate follow-up question: "What can we do about it?"

First of all: I try to focus on the people that are currently in my life and the new people I'll meet in the future. So I'm basically focussing on the present and the future instead of the past. Who knows how many amazing new people we will meet in the future. We can't possibly know. But thinking about the infinite possibilities is fun and exciting. And it helps me to forget about people from the past.

The second way is meditation. Just a short 10-minute meditation a day will do wonders. You don't have to do anything fancy like sitting in some crazy yoga pose or chant "ohm". You can use a simpler version of meditation. I recommend using the app Headspace. The pleasant thing about the app is that you're not going to be hijacked into a religion or a cult or whatever. It's just sitting still for 10 minutes a day while watching your thoughts. During these meditations, the people from your past might show up. You can greet them in your mind and move on. It works.

The third way is forgiveness. If you had a fight with somebody in the past, or the other person doesn't want to see you anymore. This can be quite hard. The solution for me turned out to be to recognize the eventual mistakes I've made, forgive myself and forgive the other person, and move on. By forgiving you're "setting yourself free" so to speak. Forgiveness sounds like something weak, but it's actually a very powerful thing I've learned.

Conclusion: change your focus to the people that are here now, or are still going to enter your life in the future. The second is to meditate and watch your thoughts. And last is the power of forgiveness.

Of course, this is only my personal opinion, and there might be more solutions.

So tell me: What's your opinion on this subject?